Part Three: the new Job
How can I begin to describe the horrors of what it is like to be abandoned and neglected by the “welcoming” God? To always be the one who is weak, or sick, or poor, or needy?
He treats me like a tumbleweed. He cares for me less than He does an animal! He lets me wander around helplessly in the deepest darkness, and traps me in places of misery and anguish. Bitter suffering and humiliating shame are the only things He gives me for food and drink.
He forces me to crawl down life’s hard roads, over ruts and rocks and thorns. I stagger forward on those rare occasions when I am able to walk...but impassable walls still frustrate me wherever I try to turn!
He binds me in heavy chains of hopelessness, while every door to success is locked tight. When I cry out for help—no matter how patiently—God remains more silent than the cold emptiness which haunts every passing moment of my dreadful existence.
I can no longer even imagine what health or strength or blessing would be like. And my mind is so sick that it can barely focus on what useless thing to try next.
The thought of life’s many tortures, above all the gnawing bite of loneliness, is bitter poison inside me. I hurt almost constantly, and my spirit is drained to the point of despair.
Who wants to face life without God’s help? Who can live without His provision? And yet...despite my constant tiredness and pain...I am careful to remember this one, most important thing:
“God has raised this Jesus to life, and we apostles are eyewitnesses of the fact.”
Conclusion: true character revealed
|